How to be a hipster
January 7, 2019
Some people think that being a Hipster is essential criteria for working at a tech start up ... Doris'er Katie is here to tell you it isn't but if you still have the urge then please see below...
Some people are born hipster, and some people have hipster thrust upon them…
but if like me you just go through life trying not to fall down curbs and buying clothes because they sorta fit your body then read my ‘How to Guide’ on becoming a Hipster.
Dress like you’ve spent a lot of money on expensive clothes, but also make sure you look like you’ve been shopping in a thrift store. Confusing onlookers by actually not knowing which way around it is…
Wear glasses. Now if you actually need glasses consider yourself lucky. But if you don’t get some clear lenses, big round frames and wear them with laid back, natural (but secretly groomed) eyebrows.
Learn to drink coffee. Cold coffee. Espresso. Short Macchiato. Indian Monsooned Malabar Coffee. Honestly the weirder the better. Doesn’t matter if you don’t like it but you need to have at least 3 a day in order to remain Hipster. If you can drink short black coffee and actually enjoy it then I salute you and you no longer need to keep reading this guide.
Love the environment. Or at least pretend you care about the ocean. David Attenborough is your God. That means ditching your plastic straws for paper ones, always taking your own bags to the fruit and veg shop and always recycling your rubbish. But don’t worry about how much energy you use on all your apple devices because how else would everyone know how hipster you are?
Go to underground raves, indie music nights and open mic nights in the hope you’ll be the first to witness the next Arcade fire or Blossoms. Wear your best charity shop outfit, Kim K shades and beret as you move your body like you have no control over it. But really saving your best dance routines for when you’re in your bedroom listening to Taylor Swift. Keep pretending you don’t love her - your secret is safe with me.
Become a food fanatic and visit every single cafe / food bistro in your town. Make sure you upload a picture to Instagram otherwise how would people know you’ve been? Try the weird and wonderful and you get extra marks for Organic food, Vegetarian food and Vegan earns you a golden star. Ding Ding Ding. Level up.
If you’re feeling brave, and 100% committed to the Hipster life then you’ll need to get a tattoo. Yep that’s right. Then people will know you’re a Hipster through to your bone… well a couple millimetres of skin. It will either be a geometric wolf, Zodiac sign or illuminati symbol. Just make sure it’s edgy and not off the first page on Google.
So you can either follow these rules or rebel against them… either way you’ll definitely be on your way to hipster status.
Just remember the first thing about being a Hipster is not to talk about being a Hipster.
Thanks and good luck!
Doris IT Project Support Officer and part time Hipster
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